THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did she cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why she crossed, I've not been told!
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the
road, and that was good enough for us.
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Ricky was going to let HER into his show, but not me.
And it was supper time.
It was a historical inevitability.
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at
the behest of the president of the United States of
America in an effort to distract law enforcement
officials and the American public from the criminal
wrongdoing our highest elected official has been
trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just
another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate
scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of
For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken
unconditional immunity, provided she cooperates fully
with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will
not be permitted to reach the other side of the road
until our investigation and any Congressional
investigations have been completed. (We also are
investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked
information to the Rev . Jerry Falwell, alleging the
chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any
useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at
least to ruffle her feathers.)
REV. JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't
you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what
"they" call it -- the "other side." Yes, my
that chicken is GAY. And, if you eat that chicken, you
will become gay too.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
But that still doesn't explain WHY, Mulder.
The fact that you are at all concerned that the
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only
cross roads, but also lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook -- and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do
you mean by "chicken"? Could you define
I was chasing the chicken. She had my dry-cleaning
receipt. Yeah, my dry-cleaning receipt, that's why. .
And God said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the
road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
and finally . . .
I missed one